Just as we all feared (and fear pretty much every year), the Oklahoma Sooners and Texas Longhorns have been assigned an 11 a.m. kickoff for their Oct. 6 matchup. The game will be televised on FOX.
Don’t get me wrong — we’ll probably live. This game actually had a 2:30 kick in 2017, but we typically have to accept the morning game and plan accordingly. The likelihood of missing the game onaccounta the “Red River Flu” skyrockets in this instance, but seasoned veterans such as myself have developed a system at this point. That system has evolved over time and is now much more responsible/safe/legal/nuanced.
The plan now entails:
- Going to bed far too late (this hasn’t evolved)
- Leaving two bottles of Pedialyte on the nightstand at your hotel
- Drinking one Pedialyte before crashing and one upon awakening
- Taking two Excedrin Extra Strength in the morning
- Eating CBD gummies
- Waking up at 6:30 and getting to the State Fair of Texas at 8
- Eating two (2) Fletcher’s Corny Dogs upon arrival and washing them down with Dixie Cups of domestic beer (pocket shots in beer optional, but ideal)
Anyway, we’re all accustomed to this. We’ve also accepted the fact that this will never be a night game. Additionally, the 11 a.m. kickoff is more conducive to napping before Saturday night’s revelry, so there’s that.