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Oklahoma Sooners Football: WEDNESDAY BULLETPOINTS 9/7/16

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Roman mythology, The Matrix, and Douglas Adams

  • Happy Labor Day Wednesday, Sooners fans! Good gracious, that stung, dinnit?
  • WHY WE LOST TO HOUSTON: Angering the football gods. As with much of the state of Oklahoma, I was awakened at 7:00 in the morning on gameday Saturday by a powerful earthquake. I had thought this merely to be a random geological event, the result of a shifting of the earth’s tectonic plates. I was wrong. I would soon come to understand that no, this was a premonition from the football gods. Very Roman. For the remaining season ahead, I shall have to learn to make proper sacrifices to the Roman god Vulcan. In ancient times (sez Wikipedia), these sacrifices consisted of making huge bonfires, onto which were thrown fish and small animals.
  • Yes, Saturday’s earthquake told me that the Sooners lost on Saturday because we didn’t grill enough.
  • Yet it stings. It stings because it once again feels like we’re proven to be something that we don’t think is real, but the evidence seems to support – no matter how good we might be, we’re a Georgia or a Clemson or a saxeT.
  • My congratulations to the University of Houston. Y’all beat us good.
  • And with that said, my message to Sooner Nation is DON’T PANIC! If we go undefeated for the rest of the regular season, we will have beaten Ohio State, a sneaky-good Oklahoma State team, TCU, Baylor, and yes, “Those pesky Longhorns” (to paraphrase Bobby Bowden). If you’re giving up on the season after week one, you’re missing out on the world of the possible.
  • WHY WE LOST TO HOUSTON: Third down defense. Y’all might think I’m crazy, but in a lot of ways, the defense played a pretty decent game. Greg Ward, Jr. had negative rushing yards. We kept their high-flying offense to 26 points. Especially in the first half, however, we couldn’t close the deal. Asinine penalties and big plays kept Baker and the boys on the sidelines and our defense got tired. Obviously plenty of room for improvement here, but the overall effort shouldn’t be completely thrown into the rubbish bin. Our problems here are correctable.
  • WHY WE LOST TO HOUSTON: Offensive miscues and the offensive line. (A/k/a, “We’ll always have the first drive…!”) Consider for a moment that Baker Mayfield attempted all of nine passes in the first half while Greg Ward, Jr. attempted twenty-eight. That’s sobering. Once we got into pass-on-every-down territory, the youth of our wide receivers showed itself. There were so many close-but-no-cigar catches (the Dede Westbrook trick play comes to mind), I feel like the timing’s just not there yet. More concerning to me was the offensive line play. Houston threw a dizzying array of blitzes at us, and they kept working. Jonathan Alvarez needs more reps in a serious way. Both are correctable, but the
  • WHY WE LOST TO HOUSTON: Special teams. Since 1999, the biggest bonehead Sooners plays often seem to come on special teams, going all the way back to Mark Clayton against USC in The Game That Never Was. Seibert’s 53-yard “Kick-Six” isn’t as bad as the Tyreek Hill fiasco from a couple of years ago, but it’s close. In each of these instances, we seem to lose our poise, then we actually lose our poise, then we lose the game. This is where I wish Bob had someone tapping him on the shoulder asking, “Umm, coach?”
  • NOT A REASON WE LOST TO HOUSTON: The referees. We haven’t lost a football game because of referees since September 16, 2006. #NeverForget #DuckVision
  • Okay, it’s Matrix time. Do you take the red pill or the blue pill? Take the red pill, you’re saying that our entire offensive system has been figured out and our players are crap. Take the blue pill, you know that we lost to a legit top-fifteen team (how many schools beat FSU and OU back-to-back?) with serious possibilities. As much as I generally advise everyone not to take drugs given to them by strangers, I make an exception in the case of Laurence Fishburne and advise Sooners fans to have courage.
  • As much as I love college football, I hate predictions. Why is it that everyone turns into Madame Zelda in the preseason? When you watch a football game, are you watching because you want to see athletes competing or because you want to validate your clairvoyance? In my perfect world, there wouldn’t be rankings until October. That’s never going to happen, but I strive for the impossible. Probably because I’m an Aries (cusp of Taurus) who was born in the Year of the Rabbit.
  • Another thing I dislike is mob mentality. The FIRE BOB STOOPS NOW cries have been keened from many a rooftop, including here on this little website. Friends, I love you like a Sooner, but I just can’t go there with you. And you should maybe consider decaf. I could list fact after fact after fact to show that Bob is one of the premier coaches in the game, but facts and pitchforks seldom go hand-in-hand. So instead, I’ll simply ask “And replace him with who?”
  • If you want the Sooners to win every game every season for the next twenty years, I recommend you buy a Playstation and a copy of NCAA 13. If you want to live in the real world, there will be losses, but you’ll still get to be a fan of the greatest team in the sport.
  • Just to continue with the theme of “DON’T PANIC!” this week’s song is from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Remember to always bring a towel. And if that Roman mythology thing spoke to you, maybe consider some grilling for Saturday’s late kickoff….
  • Peace and love, Sooners fans! I’ll be watching the Pay-per-View of ULM, and will do my best next week to recap for those of you who can’t. Until then, so long and thanks for all the fish!