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Friday Morning Bulletpoints -- 11/7/14

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In which the author describes in some detail his level of preparedness for the University of Oklahoma Sooners football program.

  • Happy Friday, Sooners fans!  Yeah, sure, I generally do my bulletpoints thing on Monday morning, but, umm, you know, Daylight Savings.
  • Hofeld and DeCray will undoubtedly give you all the analysis you can eat on our offense, defense, special teams, injuries, the X’s and O’s, the Jimmies and Joes.  Me, though, I wanted to concentrate on what is easily the most talked-about aspect of our game this week: readiness.
  • Baylor quarterback Bryce Petty understands this, you see: he answered every question in last week’s postgame press conference with some variant of the answer "We’re ready for OU." This act of repetition, unseen in human history since the invention of the Gatling gun or the lyrics to our beloved "Boomer Sooner," has spawned the Twitter hashtag #ReadyForOU as well as a number of delightful memes to be found over at Our Daily Bears.
  • Even Coach Stoops thought it was fun, remarking that the Sooners themselves were "ready for Baylor." And this may well be true: Dimon played against Iowa State, and this week should see the return of Keith Ford.  The importance of the return of Keith Ford to this team should not be overstated.
  • But Petty’s got squatter’s rights on this whole "Ready For" thing; we’re Sooners, after all, we appreciate the value of getting somewhere first.  And so I would like to state for the record here and now that I, too, am #ReadyForOU.

Hamlet

  • "We defy augury. There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ’tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come—the readiness is all." – Hamlet, Act V, scene 2.  Even Hamlet is Ready For OU, and he wasn’t ready for anything for the preceding four acts....
  • I am Ready For OU.  I’m ready for Trevor Knight to be in rhythm with his passes like he was impersonating Drew Brees in the Superdome.  I’m ready for Michiah Quick and Durron Neal to turn single coverage into yards-after-catch.  I’m ready for Sterling Shepard to streak down the sidelines like a cheetah on Red Bull.  I’m ready for Blake Bell to claim the middle of the field as his own personal territory and defy anyone to take it from him.

Jon Snow

  • Jon Snow knows nothing, and even he’s Ready For OU.
  • I am Ready For OU.  I’m ready for Eric Striker to treat Baylor linemen like smoke and Bryce Petty like an inconvenient bystander between him and Owen Field turf.  I’m ready for Jordan Philips to treat Baylor’s center like an all-you-can-eat buffet.  I’m ready to watch Geneo Grissom and Chuka Ndulue scoop up loose footballs on the ground like pennies off the street.

  • Bad Company was "Ready For Love."  I love OU.  So Bad Company is ready for OU.  It’s like that transitive property of equality thing I don’t remember from high school.
  • I’m ready for Bryce Petty’s most reliable receiver to be Zack Sanchez.  I’m ready for Quentin Hayes to defy Euclidean geometry and be in seven different places at once.  I’m ready for Ahmad Thomas to… umm, well, I’m ready for Ahmad Thomas.

Helen Reddy

  • I’m Helen Reddy For OU.
  • I’m ready for our Beef Mountain of an offensive line to alternately confuse and bludgeon their opponents into submission.  I’m ready for Aaron Ripkowski and Dimitri Flowers to snowplow the highway.  I’m ready for Keith Ford, Alex Ross, Samaje Perine, and Trevor Knight to run like they’re auditioning for a Chariots of Fire sequel.  I’m ready to watch "OU Dave" David Smith get his 100 yard game after the starters are resting.  I’m ready for Cody Thomas to enjoy playing the entire fourth quarter.

PS3 NCAA Ready For OU

  • My NCAA Football 13 OU team was ready for OU.
  • I’m ready for Michael Hunnicutt to become the all-time NCAA scoring leader – by kicking only extra points!
  • And finally, even Dr. Seuss is Ready For OU.  (Especially appropriate if we wear the "Bring the Wood" unis.)

Dr. Seuss

  • Peace and love, Sooners fans!  Time will tell whether I’m ready for bulletpoints next Monday, but I think it’s safe to say I’m Ready For OU.