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MONDAY MORNING BULLETPOINTS - 11/24/14

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"Because Samaje Perine, y'all."

Brett Deering/Getty Images

  • Happy Monday, Sooners fans! I would generally send out my hopes that everyone managed to stay dry out there this past weekend, but for this particular last weekend, I’ll make an exception.
  • Because Samaje Perine.
  • I’m seriously jealous of Toby Rowland. I would love to have this guy’s job, even though I know he’s far better at it than I would ever be. The following bulletpoint would be how I might have called one of Samaje’s big rushing touchdowns from last Saturday:
  • "First and ten, Sooners line up at their own 34. I-formation, Perine behind Ripkowski, Thomas under center, Jayhawks showing blitz. Here’s the snap! Ripkowski crashes right, Samaje going left… oh, mercy! Ten… five… touchdown Perine! Okay, let me tell you what I just saw, folks: the right side of the OU line ordered the quadruple stack of pancakes, with every white jersey now three inches deep into the turf of Owen field. Nila Kasitati, we are being told, has just blocked the Kansas DE beyond the Texas border, and the two of them are hitchhiking back to try to make it back for the next play in time. The blitzing linebacker Aaron Ripkowski hit spontaneously exploded; we hope the injury won’t be so severe that the kid misses any extended playing time. As for Perine, he just leaped over the Sarkey’s Energy Center, but managed to stay inbounds when he caught the talon of a giant golden eagle piloted by Gandalf the Grey that appeared to have been rescuing hobbits. As he landed back inbounds on the field, the left-side cornerback that would have tried to tackle him was taken out of the play when Durron Neal administered what appears to be a Vulcan death grip to him through the shoulder pads. Perine’s OU uniform appears to have sprouted long, vicious spikes as the two safeties that might have tackled him felt afraid to touch him. What an amazing six points, brought to you by DC Comics, J.R.R. Tolkien, Gene Roddenberry, the publishers of Dungeons & Dragons, and OU football!"
  • (Yes, it is possible to have multiple geekdoms.)
  • So yeah, Samaje had himself an amazing, magical, historic day. The kid ordered a double helping of Sooner Magic for breakfast, and we should all take a moment to really bask in that.
  • SAINT SOONER CALLS A TIMEOUT to allow for a longer celebration.
  • But equally as impressive, I think, are some other names that deserve mention. Those names are: Tyrus Thompson, Adam Shead, Ty Darlington, Nila Kasitati, and Daryl Williams. Add Aaron Ripkowski and Dimitri Flowers, too.
  • I never played football. I was short and skinny and I was reading every book I could get my hands on. Before I went on to debate and competitive acting, my high school competitive activity was show choir. But I think there are parallels. Every once in a while, we’d get a really difficult piece of music. And for the first few rehearsals, the basses would be trying to establish a line that wasn’t your typical 1-5-1-4-4-1-5-1. The sopranos would have to know when to bust out and when to show restraint. The tenors would have to come to terms with being half-alto, half-baritone. And the altos would generally be asked to do some kind of weird Indonesian throat-singing that made no mathematical sense. And we’d practice this new piece for a week, it would sound like absolute crap – worse than when we first rehearsed it. But the time would come – and we could feel it when it came – that it started to work, because we figured out that it wasn’t what we as individual units were doing, but how it all worked together. And then it became instinct. And then it became music.
  • Samaje Perine’s big day wasn’t an a capella aria; it was a piece of choral music. No, better – to make this record happen was a piece of choral music with an orchestra. For one day, for one game, the entire team played together. That’s the Magic.
  • <iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/kbJcQYVtZMo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
  • The folks that had seats between Jenkins and Lindsey, who got cheap tickets from friends giving them up, who went to support a team that had underwhelmed expectations, playing an overmatched opponent, those people got to sit in a concert hall and experience something that will go into the record books for at least a week. Those few, those happy few, who fought on the fields of Agincourt… err, Owen Field….
  • Okay, if Beethoven’s 9th ain’t your jam, I’ll give you this:  Hofeld put up the following Vine during the game….
  • <iframe class="vine-embed" src="https://vine.co/v/O1Bz23MF6IB/embed/simple" width="600" height="600" frameborder="0"></iframe><script async src="//platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
  • …while I was listening to this song.  You can watch this run over and over again if "Super Bon Bon" is in the background.  Hit play on the video below and keep watching the Vine above.  I think you’ll get it.
  • <iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/_Xlkla4Jrbk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
  • Samaje Perine: "Super Gone Gone."
  • Peace and love, Sooners fans. My best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving for you and for your families. If you happen to be someone stranded in Norman without a place to be on Thanksgiving, say so: I’ll make sure you get fed, nutritionally and company-wise. And I’m serious about that.