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2013 Cotton Bowl - The Dumbest Thing You Will Read All Day

There's dumb then there's Aggie logic. They are somewhat redundant, but always entertaining.

Thomas Campbell-US PRESSWIRE

Prepare yourself for as the headline above suggests, you're about to read the dumbest thing you will read all day. Maybe for several days in fact. Prior to having read this, I was blissfully unaware of either the website or the author in question. However, if my previous experience with Texas A&M centric websites has taught me anything it's that you should never allow yourself to be convinced the bar cannot be lowered. I don't know what it is about the majority of people who cover that school, but it's almost as if you can't be a member of the club if you're not a member of the cult. The lack of anything even remotely close to resembling objectivity is simply astounding.

Ignoring the fact that this guy attempts, and I'm using that word generously, to base his argument behind a feeble at best 236 total words. That's not to say an argument/theory/whatever can only be presented in long form, far from it in fact. That said, if you're going to limit yourself to stringing a couple paragraphs together those better be some pretty damn convincing handful of sentences. Let's just say my man might have come up a little bit short in the convincing part of that equation.

This is so bad I know of no other truly effective way to make fun of it other than to dissect it piece by piece. So if you'll indulge me...

This is not one of Bob Stoops' better teams.

He takes a Bleacher Report like approach to things right from the jump with the "flashy" one-liner to set that hook and reel you in. Really goes out on a limb as well with this shocking revelation. What's convenient, as you'll see, is that he never talks about why this isn't one of "Stoops' better teams." Failing to point out that Stoops has raised the standards and level of expectations so high that this team could even be considered not one of his best. Of course, asking an Aggie to know about expectations and high standards is counter productive to begin with.

The Sooners lost two games at home, a first for Stoops in 14 seasons.

This is an undeniable fact. Something he seemingly bases his entire 236 word premise around, but once again conveniently leaves out who the two losses were against. As you'll see in a minute, he goes on to proclaim how A&M has accomplished so much while OU has done so little. Presumably concluding that their losses to Florida and LSU (both at home mind you) were somehow positives for the Aggies while OU's losses to Kansas State and Notre Dame were downright shameful.

Again, pointing out that OU lost two games at home under Stoops for the first time in his tenure is only a relevant fact because of its impressiveness. What you don't see is that A&M also lost two games at home this season, but the obvious reason that's not brought up is because it had been all of ZERO seasons since the Aggies had suffered that same fate. You have to go all the way back to the 2011 season when A&M lost three games on their home field.

But I forgot, they're in the SEC now so everything that transpired prior to their illustrious arrival is no longer relevant. Well everything that is except the fictional championships they awarded themselves.

OU almost lost its last three games, sliding by West Virginia (50-49), Oklahoma State (51-48) and TCU (24-17).

Okay, if you weren't already skeptical of this guy's objectivity this one puts it over the top for me. To say OU "almost lost its last three games" is just plain stupid. OU didn't almost lose it's last three games, they won them and anyone without an obvious agenda would readily admit as much.

The Sooners' big win this season was over an overrated 8-4 Texas.

An actual fair point here. Oklahoma doesn't have a marquee win on their schedule.

Yet the Sooners are 10-2, the same as the Aggies who have accomplished so much, though they also lost two home games. And even if A&M loses this game, the future is on the upswing.

But can't say that about OU.

It's hard to really pick a favorite part of this, but if I was forced to I'd probably go with this one. You just have to appreciate the blatant homerism of these two sentences. Though, and I'm not usually a fan of the grammar police, I'm almost positive that last one isn't an actual sentence.

This is just dripping with hypocrisy. To claim that, if only by the grace of the gods, OU were to somehow defy the odds and find a way to beat an A&M team "who have accomplished so much" that win would mean almost nothing. Yet were the Aggies to lose, do not fret as the future is still SO much brighter than the lowly Sooners.

I mean wow....just wow.

This is the second straight year OU hasn't played in a BCS Bowl, another first under Stoops who set the bar high by winning a national championship in his second season (Aggies hope that's a pattern that will be repeated since Kevin Sumlin worked for Stoops).

Maybe, just maybe, if we all cross our fingers, close our eyes really tight, and pray super extra hard our dreams will come true!

And oh by the way, how many straight years has it been since Texas A&M was in a BCS bowl game again? Was it that one and only appearance back in 1999 (a loss by the way)? So, 13 years and counting is it? But yeah, two in a row for Stoops is down right turrible.

The Aggie logic is on full display here. It's only reasonable to assume because Sumlin once worked for Stoops that he too would win a national championship in his second season as A&M's head coach. Simply flawless Aggie logic.

Stoops said on Wednesday's Cotton Bowl teleconference that there was initial disappointment when the Sooners didn't get a BCS Bowl invite.

"But it didn't last long, I don't believe," he said. "We realize what a good game it is. We realize that the whole public out there is anticipating the game. Everybody here is fired up about it."

These are facts. They bare almost zero relevance to whatever point he is attempting to make here and he makes zero effort to tie them into his point.

OU sold out its allotment of 12,500 tickets in less than 24 hours. Obviously, Sooner fans believe OU can beat A&M and Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel, which would make the Sooners a somewhat typical 11-2 Stoops' team.

Wait...what's this you say...OU fans actually believe their team can beat A&M and Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel?!? What idiots they must be!

It's a fitting end as well for him to make one more reference to how little this win against A&M would mean for OU only after touting how much the Aggies have accomplished this season.

It's Aggie logic, need I really say any more?