clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Let's Go Ahead and Laugh At Texas Now

We usually wait until early October to start poking fun at the Texas Longhorns but with the season just hours away and all the legal issues that Texas has suffered this summer how can we wait another month?

This was e-mailed to me yesterday and I had to post it. Enjoy!

(Note: for those of you that don't know (Seriously, how could you not?), Austin's Pride has produced, within the last month: four (4) boys- w/ mugshots and prints. Two for armed robbery (w/ firearms), one for auto burglary & DUI and another for DUI) Despite, their days of "good behavior" - I thought you might find these jokes timely!
  1. What do you call a drug ring in Austin? A huddle.
  2. Four UT Longhorns in a car, who's driving? The police.
  3. The UT Longhorns have adopted a new "Honor System". Yes Your
Honor, No Your Honor.
  1. The UT Longhorns knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: F. Lee Bailey.
  2. How do the UT Longhorns spend their first week at fall practice?
Studying their Miranda Rights.
  1. What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit? Will the defendant please rise?
  2. If you see Longhorn football player on a bike, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bike!
  1. The Longhorns employ scouts. But to look out for cops, not to scout high school kids.
  2. I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections plans to build a new prison in Austin, Texas in order to allow Longhorns to walk to school.
  3. What do you call it, when a Longhorn goes on vacation? Time off for good behavior.
  4. Why couldn't the Longhorn get into a huddle on the football field?
It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.

12. Obviously Coach Mack Brown is not paying his players if they have to resort to robbing people.


Thanks to reader Tommy T. for sending this in!