Make no mistake, I'm not a writer. So if you're reading this expecting eloquence you're going to be disappointed. This is also not about football, so if you're reading this expecting expert analysis on defensive schemes it's not in here. This is about how a simple website has helped keep me sane, and sober. It's about how I feel at the very moment concerning what is happening to the community right now. I had planned to write this a few days ago, but I was too mad to do it.
I've never been a very good person, I really love very few things in this life. I honestly should either be dead or in prison. I always loved a good party or a good fight and watching Sooner football, that was about it. My screen name isn't just some name I made up, I had been called Pitbull because of my temper since I was a little kid. I'm a tattoo'd up trouble maker,or at least I used to be. My wife and daughter saved my life the first time, fatherhood and a strong woman calmed me down. Around the time I found this website I had began to struggle with my sobriety again, so much to the point my family convinced me to see a doctor. I never went to rehab, I got sober by finding other things to occupy my time, one of them was spending a lot of time on this website talking about the Sooners with the wonderful people here.You guys played a part in saving my life the second time around. Those are some of things you'll never know about somebody when you only talk online and I'd venture to say only a handful of you have ever met each other in real life.
"Morale and attitude are the fundamental ingredients to success."..Bud Wilkinson.
The morale around the site is down, as well as the attitude. Many of us have watched this site grow tremendously over the past few years and I have no doubt that Matt is as proud as he can be about it. He's done a hell of a job, but it wasn't just his doing, Rich, Jordan and all of you wonderful people who comment daily or even infrequently played a very large part in that. I know my attitude is to the point right now where I don't even feel like commenting because I don't think I can say much without rehashing what has transpired over the last few days. Some people have already swore off CCM and decided to leave.
As you all know by now Jordan Esco has been asked to leave the site and we've been offered little to no information why. This is not a usual occurrence around here, we usually have all the information we need to decide for ourselves what side to stand on. All we really have is that Jordan said it was the about what happened on the osu site. I've never known Jordan to be a liar and I don't think any of you have either. All of you probably read my comments on the Adios thread so there is no reason to bring up what I said to Matt again.I still stand firm by what I said and I still think the decision was wrong.I think it should have been used as a teachable moment and maybe even an opportunity to strengthen the community.
I really wish that things would have been handled differently, because make no mistake, things will never be the same here. People have already left, some are thinking about leaving and others have no idea what they're going to do get there Sooner fix. The knowledge of the people on this site is rivaled by no other. This is the most intelligent football community I've ever seen. It's filled with really good people who love to talk and joke around with each other, and fiercely love the Sooners. The podcast's were an opportunity to get to know each other, many times the comments were about what was going on in our personal lives and filled with funny stories instead of being all about OU. I really wish things could go back to how they were but I know they can't. Jordan if you can read this, Thanks for donating your time to write so many wonderfully worded things for us to talk about.
To all the people on this site who had no idea how much they helped me thank you so much for doing so. I know I'll forget somebody but here goes. Thank you Jordan OUJJ, SGE, Chief,Scarab,Blaster,OhioSooner,Foxtrot,SoonerRay, PhilCamro,OUPlM Leatherneck,ClarkKentus, KCSooner,Redhawk ,Htown,Inocybe ,Heath ,Soonerpeak ,Ace, Soonerdead, EastOK, Toats, Kratos, Learguy, Voice ,bighigg ,Matt,Rich,and many others that I can't think of off the top of the dome. Thank you guys for being there when you didn't even know that's what you were doing. This isn't my goodbye, it's a thank you. Because I know things aren't going to ever be the same again and I fear we may not chat as much as we used to.