The general surveyed the field of battle. Corpses wearing burnt orange littered the field, already fly specked and bloated in the Dallas sun. Laughing the general turned to his second-in-command, a 6'6" giant known only as "Yeti", battle-scarred and covered in blood and gore.
"Our casualties were light?" asked General Stoops, balancing himself as his horse reared on it's haunches and ninnied at the ghastly spectacle below.
"Yes Lord" replied the Yeti. "We sustained a few light injuries, but the enemy was utterly destroyed. We took only one alive...I personally slaughtered all who surrendered".
"Excellent" replied Stoops, pulling hard on the reins of his steed. "See that the corpses are burned on the Altar of Switzer and Wilkinson". Stoops paused for a few seconds, took a deep breath, then stated "bring the survivor before me".
Yeti then turned and clapped his monstrous hands together. A path cleared between the rows of crimson clad warriors. A sobbing man wearing the orange of the defeated enemy was being dragged between two massive warriors, known as The Millard and Ikard. They stopped a few paces in front of Stoops, and threw the sobbing man down before him. Stoops lips curled in a feral smile.
"So, the sobbing fool before me is "General" Brown" Stoops sneered. "Tell me "General", what did you think of our plan of battle this year?".
The frail man on the ground, dragged himself up to his hands and knees, then finally managed to lift himself shakily to his feet. "Your run game was punishing my Lord" and began sobbing uncontrollably, suddenly looking very old.
Stoops snapped his fingers and The Millard slapped the coward heavily across the face with his gauntleted fist. The man fell to his knees heavily.
"You will comport yourself as a man in my presence" stated Stoops. "The next tear that falls down your face will be followed by an axe in your skull. Do you understand?". The coward looked up at Stoops, swallowed a mouthful of snot and blood, and shook his head slowly up and down.
"Your life and lands are forfeit to me. YOU BELONG TO ME NOW. I may kill you as I see fit, or I may let you live. Which do you prefer?" asked Stoops.
"Puh...puh...puhlease Lord...spare my life. You have utterly destroyed our realm on multiple occasions. Please Lord, let me return to my family and to my nation.".
Yeti leaned in close to Stoops and whispered in his ear "My Lord...perhaps it would be best if we let him return to his people yet again. In that way we may continue our yearly raids on this dreary realm and risk nothing. If you kill him now the enemy may find a better leader".
Stoops nodded sagely and whispered back "you are indeed cruel Yeti....the people of this realm have no hope with this fool leading their forces."
Turning back to the conquered enemy Stoops said "Ikard, drag this fool to the edge of our camp. Give him our mangiest donkey and 3 days food and water, that he may return to his people". Ikard snapped his right fist against his chest bellowing "your will be done", and then he grabbed the prisoner and roughly yanked him to his feet, and dragged the man off.
Stoops looked at his troops and smiled in grim satisfaction. His warriors. His nation. His people had triumphed yet again over their southern foes. And their foolish general was being sent back to ply his excuses for another resounding defeat. The yearly reaping of Longhorn tears and dreams was complete. But tomorrow...tomorrow the enemy would rise from the dung heap and would be ripe yet again for another reaping.