After reading the first installment of CCM's "Know Thy Enemy" series, I'm completely convinced that by the final installment we will have a firm grasp on the X and O tendencies of our
up and coming upcoming bowl opponent. However, what I'm not as certain of, is that all of us "know thy enemy" from a cultural standpoint.
As a charter member of the BIG XII, many of us became quite familiar with the
odd quirkiness traditions of our former conference mates during our 16 year relationship, but it saddens me to know there are some amongst us who never took or had the opportunity to truly understand and appreciate those traditions or aggie's illimitable delusions of grandeur. Rather than simply chalking this up as the proverbial "ship that sailed," I thought our upcoming match would provide an excellent opportunity to reintroduce the Texas A&M "Fighting Farmers" to the Sooner Nation.
But then reality set in. How do I capture the breadth of the last 16 years of fallacy and put it in print? How do I relate a hundred years of indoctrinated traditions to someone who hasn't experienced first hand the shifty, unrealistic thought processes of an aggie. Why, it just isn't possible.
Then I had an epiphany! Nothing has ever so clearly defined aggie quite like their unexpected exit from the BIG XII. The entire process and the faulty logic supporting it, tells us all we need to know about aggie. So what better way to communicate this, than with a top ten list of reasons why aggie joined the Southeast Conference!
So without further ado, I present to you, "The Top Ten Reasons Aggie Joined The SEC."
10. After 16 years in the BIG XII, a conference record of 7 games over .500 and a single 13 year old conference title, there was simply nothing left for aggie to prove.
9. In the SEC, aggie can be their incredibly delusional selves, and absolutely nobody will notice. Ever.
8. They were tired of being the only ones wearing overalls on game day.
7. It was the perfect opportunity for the aggie media department to strut their stuff with youtube videos.
6. In the SEC, materializing conference championships and national championships from thin air is not only accepted, but encouraged.
5. In the south, no one will think it's strange that every dog you've ever had has the same name, and that they're all buried in rows in the front yard.
4. Aggie cheerleaders will finally be included in the conference calendar.
3. Aggie was already dressed up for civil war reenactments anyway.
2. Aggie can show everyone in the south that Mason jars aren't just for canning turnips and washing down moon pies.
Can I have a drumroll please?
1. The number one reason aggie left for the SEC... SEC offenses can't score 77 points.
Now of course this could easily have been a top 50 list, but it was compiled in a very limited time frame. I'm sure there's several things I missed, so please feel free to add to this list in the comment section so others can
learn to appreciate aggie "know thy enemy" too.